More detail work today. It is so fun to look at all the different, intricate details and see what I missed last time. There is always something else that I didn't notice. One of the greatest gratitudes I have for painting is how it has helped me see the world more vividly. Not only do I see colors that I'd never seen before, but I see details, relationships, and nuances that make the world a much more engaging and enlivened place.
Balusters by the Dozen
I was able to do a little woodworking today. It wasn't too many years ago that my dad got a lathe. We made plans for me to go help him and together we'd make balusters for the banister in my house. We never quite found the time to do it, and now the house has been sold, I've moved, and my dad's health doesn't allow for those kinds of activities anymore. I wish I could have made that memory with him. I am grateful, however, for the memories I do have. Without him I definitely wouldn't be who or where I am today.
Course Corrections
One of the benefits of posting my progress is that I get to see it from a different perspective. After my last post I realized how off some of my lines were. This image may not seem much different from the last one, but it represents a significant amount of time reworking several areas and correcting several mistakes. I'd like to think I'm beyond such basic errors, but I'm not. The eye can truly deceive, especially when it comes to lines and linear perspective. And my eyes did deceive me. It makes me wonder how often my eyes deceive me in the ordinary acts of life on an ordinary day. How many decisions do I make because I saw something wrong? How much time do I waste because I don't see what I'm looking for when it's right in front me? And how many times have relationships struggled because I saw things based on my preconceived notions rather than on the reality in front of me. Oh, to have eyes to see...
The good news is, that we can correct our course. Every day we get a chance to rise again and start fresh, with new eyes, as we take on another day of accomplishing tasks, fulfilling responsibilities, growing relationships, and making memories. I am truly grateful for the opportunities I have for course corrections in my life.
Happy Birthday... And I Cried...
Today is my brother's birthday. He passed away in 1999. Painting this portrait of him has been an emotional journey on so many counts. Like I said, bad references were a major issue. My emotional issues were also a huge barrier. Then, I kept seeing my son instead of my brother on the canvas. But the other day I looked at the canvas and my brother was smiling back at me. I sat there and cried, and cried, and cried. I felt him in the room with me. I felt his love, and his approval, and the joyful essence of him. And I missed him. And I loved him. And I was filled with gratitude that I was able to do this. A month from today is our father's 80th birthday. This painting is for him. I hope he sees Roger too.
That Moment
You know that moment - when the planets align and you just know that everything is going to work out? That moment when everything comes together just right and and everything clicks? I got to have that moment today. I've spent three days on her hands now and the frustration was starting to build. I've done this long enough now to have faith in the process. I knew it would come together eventually. I just didn't want eventually to be some time next week. And then I suddenly watched a certain line of paint go in a certain place at just the right angle, with just the right value, and jus the right thickness, and I knew. I just knew that this was it. I kept going with what i was doing and moving along from finger to finger and with each one it just worked. And then ta-da! I was done! I've had that experience many times. But today I was very acutely aware of it and I am feeling extra grateful for that awareness. I know this happens in many parts of our lives and I've come to realize that it's the being aware that makes the difference. I'm grateful today was a day of awareness and now I get to experience that moment over and over again in my memory.
Words
Gratitude
I often feel grateful for what I have and the circumstances in my life. I strive to act in gratitude, and use gratitude as my motivator instead of anxiety. I would like to become a truly grateful person.
I believe this happens when we experience gratitude in both the light and shadow of our lives. There must needs be opposition in all things. I work at finding gratitude in the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, the easy and the hard, the up and the down, the yin and the yang.
Chubby Cherub
My beach cherub is getting chubby! I am really enjoying this painting. The flesh and fabric colors are very close, which makes it interesting. It forces me to really look at values, hard and soft lines, and all the elements that go into creating form. It is reminding me what great teachers I had in the art department at Southern Utah University.
Tree Line
Sometimes when I paint I struggle and fuss and play with color, brushes and technique and still seem to have a hard time getting it right. Other time, like today, magic just seems to happen. The right brush chooses the right color and it seems to simply paint itself. Always fun to paint on these days!
Renewal
Spring has always been my favorite time of year. It is when the world begins to wake up and start over. I love having the opportunity to wake up and start over. There are so many renewal opportunities build in to our existence. We have the opportunity to start fresh every single day. Our culture gives us a weekend so that we can start fresh at the beginning of each week. In my religion I practice spiritual renewal each week.
As an artist I get to start new whenever I want. All I have to do is open my sketchbook and find a blank sheet, just waiting for me to fill it with whatever inspires me. I have a supply of blank canvases anxious for the first stroke of the brush. And I have a stock pile of old canvases willing to be painted over and made new again.
I think it's significant that before I can see the new blossoms in the springtime a lot of work has gone on below the surface. A seed had to soften and sprout and send out its roots. Those roots had to take hold and gain enough nourishment to send a sprout out through the soil and into the sunlight. And the sprout had to grow and develop a blossom.
I so appreciate the opportunities I have to start anew. And yet, if I don't prepare myself for those opportunities how can I expect my efforts truly blossom?
Grateful Moment
It has been fluctuating between rain and clear sunny skies all day. One minute it's a downpour and the next the sky is such a bright blue and rain on the fresh spring leaves sparkles in the sunlight. I took a quick opportunity during a break in the rain to explore a little finger on the Tillamook Bay that's been taunting me since I moved here. I've seen fishermen and clammers down there, but it's often deserted. I didn't get far before the wind picked up and the rain threatened again. But it was fun to know I broke that barrier and introduced myself to a new corner of this heaven where I live. As I stood there, taking in the chill, the bite of the wind on my cheeks, the smell of the varied types of moisture, the sound of the waves and the rustle of the leaves I sensed a message coming through. I laugh at the dramatic changes in weather in the fall and call it the menopause season - hot flashes and cold chills. But I felt that rather than an impending sense of imminent cold and miserable weather, Mother Nature was tell me that it heralded the coming of hope in the form of fresh blossoms, budding leaves, new plants and baby animals, and the joys of spring. My whole being took it in and relished it. What a grateful moment in time!
