Surprises

It was difficult to complete this painting because I was dealing with the death of my mother-in-law, all of the responsibilities of her family and estate, real estate issues, and other time obligations. However, it was also a very magical experience. I hesitate to use the word magical, but it did just seem to come together. It wasn't exactly what I had envisioned, and it didn't necessarily match my hard-earned references. But what did come about touched my soul and was exactly what I wanted it to be. 

Fire Face

I didn't get a photo from my first painting session so this is a bit into the process. This is the last painting I completed in 2016. It was part of a local collaborative project hosted by the Hoffman Center for the Arts in Manzanita, Oregon, called "Word and Image". I participated in 2015 with the painting, "Sunday Dinner". They randomly pair a writer with a painter. As the painter, I create a painting inspired by my assigned artist. As luck would have it, my artist was the same as in 2015! I was there when they drew her name out of the hat so I know it was indeed random. And it was a gift to me. I really enjoy working her. 

Lookin' Good Soldier

Sometimes I can't figure myself out. I was making great progress on the face and feeling really good about it. But it has taken all my will power to get myself back to the canvas. Perhaps I was afraid I would mess it up. I don't know. But man, I have been fighting myself today. I finally did it though, and I think he looks quite handsome. I'm checking in with "Dad" to get his opinion before I go any further on it. But for now, I think he's looking pretty handsome. 

Painting Private Ryan

It will become obvious as I paint the uniform that Ryan is not a Private. He is, however, a pretty private person. His dad, who commissioned the piece, is also a quiet and unassuming person. It's an honor to be asked to create an heirloom for their family. When I finished this session I didn't feel like I'd made much progress, but when I came back to it, I could see Ryan beginning to emerge. I have to say that I really enjoy what I do. 

Mud On His Face

After applying the color to the various areas blended and softened them. This is the beginning of the layering process. It's a little tricky because if I leave it for too long and the paint dries, then I basically have to repaint everything. If I can get back to the canvas soon enough, however, the paint will still be wet and I can add more colors and layers and move the paint around and manipulate it. He's not looking so great today, but at least he's got a face, right?

Paint By Number Face

Well, it's back to Ryan. And boy has he got dirt on his face today. This is the stage where I play with colors and values, general placement of lines, and try to find the planes on the face. It looks pretty messy, but it's actually quite an exciting stage. It's the beginning of the puzzle, like when you get all the edge pieces in and now you can really start getting to work on the meat of the thing. Good times, good times.

Step Away From the Canvas

I've been feeling a bit guilty that I haven't gotten to easel as much as I wanted this past week. But yesterday as I sat looking at this painting and the very poor reference from which I have to work, I began to notice some significant things that I had missed before. I thought I had them right, but I've been away from the canvas long enough now to begin to see the forest instead of just the trees. It's pretty impossible for me to paint without getting my nose right up there in what I'm doing. But this was a good reminder that it's just as important to not only step back from the canvas at times, but to completely step away from it, leave it alone, let my eyes forget what they've been seeing, so that they can actually see more clearly again. I find this true in relationships as well. Sometimes we get so caught in believing that a person one way that we stop seeing that they are many ways and many things. It's too easy to see people as one dimensional. I want so much for others to understand me and yet sometimes I'm the one who needs to step away from the canvas of our relationship and allow myself to see them more fully, as a whole person, and even through their eyes. When things just don't seem to be going right, step away... 

Hat's Off

Well, I'm off and running with the hat at least. It still needs more work, but I'll need to find a better reference before I can finish it. His face is finding it's shape as well. It's slow going, but at least there's progress. It's amazing how being emotionally attached to the subject can make it so difficult to be objective about something even so detached as painting the figure. It's simply hard to look at what is really there. The human being is such an emotional creature. Our feelings, experiences and perceptions effect everything we do and every decision we make. It's not always for the best, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Let's Face It

Sometimes we're faced with truths that are hard to accept. Other times, we realize something that is actually pleasant. I've been pushing myself to get this series done  in a short amount of time because I've been invited to show my work at the Bay City Arts Center in December and I wanted a body of new work. It's amazing how exhausting it is to be creative under a deadline. At the same time, when things shape up nicely like her face did today, it is also amazing to realize how much I love it. 

Facing the Facts

I loved how her face looked when I blocked in the under layer. I didn't want to mess that up, but I also knew I needed more detail. It's definitely not finished, but her face is developing. As I watched each of my children grow I noticed how their cute little chubby faces had to go through a transitional stage during their pre-teens before it got to the older, handsomer, and prettier stage. I'm sure we've all seen those "awkward years" photos. How embarrassing! It seems that life is like that. When we first enter into a relationship, or a job, or a hobby, or an activity, it goes so smoothly at first. Everything is cute and fun and exciting. Then there's an awkward stage when you wonder what happened to all that cuteness and you wonder if it's worth it. And finally, if you see it through, you come out mature, well sculpted, and even more beautiful that when you began. Here's hoping we make it through that awkward stage.

Emerging Face

It's always interesting to see the painting digitized and uploaded. Of course you can't see all of the detail that you see in real life. But it's more than that. When I'm painting my nose is (very literally) so close to the canvas that sometimes I can't see the forest for the trees. Several times I have considered a painting finished, photographed it, viewed it on the website edit page, gasped, and gone back to the canvas. Obviously I don't think I'm finished this time, but it is another moment when I am seeing things I didn't see when I was sitting at my canvas. I actually like how her face is emerging from the canvas almost as if she is passing into the room through an ethereal veil. And even though her hands are just barely blocked in, they already feel as if they are hanging on to something important. At this stage I feel very much like a new mother looking at her perfect infant and praying that she will just not mess him up...  

Profile

A profile is a view of something from only one side. Today my subject got a profile. She has her face to the light and is soaking up the warmth of the sun. But there's more to her than just this one side. And yet, that's all we'll get to see.

How often do we see only one side of a person? How often do we create a profile in our minds of what a person is? I'm working on getting to know people more fully and accepting them as a whole person rather than just certain aspects of them. This isn't always possible. So I try to remember that everyone is a whole person whether I can see all of them or not. I guess this has become important to me because I want others to see me in the same way. 

Ghostly Dream

For the past couple of weeks I've been itching to do a charcoal drawing.  I've done several in the past and always enjoyed it, although it's not my primary medium. I'm definitely not as good at drawing as I am at painting, but charcoal drawing is definitely my favorite in that medium.

Last night I had a dream that I had done a charcoal drawing. It was so real that when I woke up I wasn't sure if I'd actually done it or not. I decided my subconscious we telling me it was definitely time to do one.

This is not the finished product, but I liked the ghostly surrealism at this stage so I decided to share it. It kind of goes along with the feeling of fall that is in the air.

Back in the Studio

I finally got back in the studio after almost a week. Breaks like this can be good for me, but they are hard on me as well. It's funny how much mental and emotional effort it takes to get myself in front of the canvas. And yet, to not do it is far more painful. 

So I jumped back in to Beach Cherub and got a good start on her face. There's more work to do, but too little time. I am off to a fun adventure today, though. So hopefully I'll have some great references to bring back to the studio.

Lights and Darks

When starting a face I first try to find the areas of highlight (lights) and shadow (darks) that define the plane changes on the face. It's tempting to go into great detail on one facial feature, like an eye, but it's better in the end to make sure all the general areas are correct first. I've made the mistake before of perfecting an eye and then realizing I painted it too high or too low or too far to the right or left and having to repaint it. Lesson learned...