Safety

Well, here she is at last, safe and sound in the comfort of her chair.  Maya Angelou said, “The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” I remember talking to a fellow educator several years ago. He was telling about his teenage daughter and how erratic her behavior had become. He shared how he had confronted her with it one day and told her that all of her teachers and neighbors and others always tell him what a kind, sweet, wonderful young woman she is. He asked her why she couldn't act that way at home. She suddenly cried out and said, "Dad, I have to have somewhere that I can be ugly!" I've always remembered that. Having a place that I can be ugly, or just be me whatever that looks like, is most certainly a comfort and safety.
 

Time is Ticking

My art show is two weeks away and I'm stressing! I suppose that's not too out of the ordinary. I had hoped to finish both Safe and Tender, but at this rate I'll be lucky to get this one done. She is looking better today though. I think tomorrow I'll move back to her hair and see what that does to her face before I finish her up. Where is the snooze button on life?

Let's Face It

Sometimes we're faced with truths that are hard to accept. Other times, we realize something that is actually pleasant. I've been pushing myself to get this series done  in a short amount of time because I've been invited to show my work at the Bay City Arts Center in December and I wanted a body of new work. It's amazing how exhausting it is to be creative under a deadline. At the same time, when things shape up nicely like her face did today, it is also amazing to realize how much I love it. 

Soft

"Soft" is the third in a series of paintings around the concept of Comfort. When I think of comfort I close my eyes and can feel softness against my skin. In deciding how to portray softness I came up with several visuals. I went with this one though, because I love the feeling of being in a warm, soft, comfortable bed. There is softness under me, the pillow is soft, and I'm covered in soft blankets. Everything is inviting and comforting. Now I think I'll go to bed... 

Soft Sleeper

She's getting close. Lots of layering. She seems to be sleeping peacefully, but there are areas that need some more work. This is the stage that can go either way. I have had painting sessions where there is just one little thing that needs to be done and I can't get it to save me. Other times I feel like there is so much to do and it comes together so quickly that I can't believe it. So we'll let her get some rest and see what tomorrow brings... 

Embrace

Well, here she is, "Embrace". She's definitely different than anything I've done before. And I'm really happy with her. Her features are distinct and I believe the emotion comes through. I feel like in addition to finding comfort in the warmth and softness of the blanket, she is remembering times of comfort as well. Isn't that what a security blanket it all about? The memories? A new blanket may be warm and soft, but it doesn't bring the same comfort as the worn and raggedy one that smells like home, or Mom, or a loved one. It doesn't have the memories attached of the time you snuggled on the couch together, or when it covered you during an illness. Safety and security come from time tested trials and triumphs and the consistency of knowing that what you need and what you love will be there when you need it again. 

Facing the Facts

I loved how her face looked when I blocked in the under layer. I didn't want to mess that up, but I also knew I needed more detail. It's definitely not finished, but her face is developing. As I watched each of my children grow I noticed how their cute little chubby faces had to go through a transitional stage during their pre-teens before it got to the older, handsomer, and prettier stage. I'm sure we've all seen those "awkward years" photos. How embarrassing! It seems that life is like that. When we first enter into a relationship, or a job, or a hobby, or an activity, it goes so smoothly at first. Everything is cute and fun and exciting. Then there's an awkward stage when you wonder what happened to all that cuteness and you wonder if it's worth it. And finally, if you see it through, you come out mature, well sculpted, and even more beautiful that when you began. Here's hoping we make it through that awkward stage.

Emerging Face

It's always interesting to see the painting digitized and uploaded. Of course you can't see all of the detail that you see in real life. But it's more than that. When I'm painting my nose is (very literally) so close to the canvas that sometimes I can't see the forest for the trees. Several times I have considered a painting finished, photographed it, viewed it on the website edit page, gasped, and gone back to the canvas. Obviously I don't think I'm finished this time, but it is another moment when I am seeing things I didn't see when I was sitting at my canvas. I actually like how her face is emerging from the canvas almost as if she is passing into the room through an ethereal veil. And even though her hands are just barely blocked in, they already feel as if they are hanging on to something important. At this stage I feel very much like a new mother looking at her perfect infant and praying that she will just not mess him up...  

Warm Embrace

This is a charcoal drawing I did as a concept sketch for my next painting. Still working with the idea of Comfort, this piece will be about embracing. Often an embrace is pictured with two people in a hug. But I wanted to capture the idea with just a single figure. When I think of being embraced, enwrapped, cuddled, and snuggled in comfort, I think of a warm, soft blanket. I want her to have a look of appreciation and familiarity more than a relief from fear or struggle. I'm having fun with the charcoals. I'm not spending the time on them that I do with the paints, but just playing with them again is fun!

Warmth

This is the first painting in a series I am going to do on the concept of Comfort. To me, comfort is warm. When I think of warm comfort I think of standing outside with my face to the sun. Today it's raining outside. I can hear the drops pelting the skylight in my studio and it reminds me of some of the old farm buildings when I was child. The sound makes me feel cold even though the temperature inside is very comfortable. And yet, I can look at her and see her embracing the light and warmth of the sun and suddenly I feel warm again. Many people have a "happy place" in their mind that they can go to when life gets stressful, and it can help them calm down. While this isn't really a place, it is an image that can bring a sense of warmth and comfort when life gets hard. 

Profile

A profile is a view of something from only one side. Today my subject got a profile. She has her face to the light and is soaking up the warmth of the sun. But there's more to her than just this one side. And yet, that's all we'll get to see.

How often do we see only one side of a person? How often do we create a profile in our minds of what a person is? I'm working on getting to know people more fully and accepting them as a whole person rather than just certain aspects of them. This isn't always possible. So I try to remember that everyone is a whole person whether I can see all of them or not. I guess this has become important to me because I want others to see me in the same way. 

Canvas Covered

I took yesterday's charcoal drawing and am making it into a painting. I chose a 16" x 20" canvas this time. I've been working on 8" x 10" canvas boards for paintings that are more for exercise and whim. But I want to turn this into a series of paintings focusing on the idea of comfort. Today I got the canvas covered with an underpainting. I left all of the edges soft so that I can make adjustments as I go along. Things will change, but I have a starting place. My heart is speaking to me in this one. I'm excited.