Apples, Oranges and Hearts, Oh My!

Someone posted on Facebook a photo of a human heart covered in fat, saying that fat is not beautiful. I wanted to reply that an anorexic heart probably doesn't look much prettier. I think the issue is that we're trying to make oranges in to apples. Overweight women have as much right as any magazine model to feel beautiful because beauty shouldn't be defined by our body shape. Beauty is an entire package of personality, integrity, self-worth, and kindness. Fatness isn't beautiful because it's unhealthy. And that's a different issue than beauty.

They are linking, however, because if we are not taking care of ourselves physically it's probably because we don't feel beautiful already. I personally can't address my weight issues until I'm comfortable with who I am, as is. Any effort I put toward it prematurely will only backfire in the end. I've watched this same cycle with many women in my life. However, when I understand my invite worth a s human soul, I also understand my inmate beauty and the sire to be healthy becomes intrinsic and possible. 

If we, as a society, could stop trying to make oranges into apples and simply look at each other heart to heart, then we could all feel more beautiful and the fat would begin to melt away.

Treading Water

I've never been able to tread water. Even though I learned to swim as a child, I was never a very good swimmer. Several years ago I decided to overcome my fear of the water and worked hard to do it. I went to the pool and practiced - not swimming - but not being afraid of the water. After a few months I was swimming like a fish in the deep end and loving every minute of it. And now, even though I can't get enough of the water, I've still not been able to tread water.

A few months ago I started taking a water aerobics class. One lady does the exercises without a float belt. After class the other day I decided to try doing the exercises without a belt. It was hard, but I found myself quite able to do it. Suddenly I realized I was basically treading water. I quit focusing on the exercises and started focusing on simply staying afloat. I soon realized that all the other times I'd tried to tread water I had failed because I had done the "panic stroke".  As soon as I realized I could do it, and believed in myself, my motions settled into a rhythm. My heart rate evened out and I was able to treat water for 15 minutes. I could have kept going but I needed to get on with my day.

Typically when people talk about treading water they are using the phrase in a negative connotation to indicate that someone isn't moving forward in their life. On this day, however, treading water meant I wasn't drowning and it became a true life saving skill. I think often we are hard on ourselves when all we are doing is treading water. I think it's good to give ourselves credit for staying afloat and not drowning until we can get the resources we need to move in a healthy way.

Window Peeping

The image quality isn't that great, but this photo is more about the concept than the quality. I always feel awkward when I drive by someone's house at night and their lights are on with the curtains open. Even if they aren't in the room, I feel as though I'm seeing into their secrets and that I don't belong there. This time, however, I was inside looking out. I know I'm not the only one who enjoys people watching. It's fascinating how related we all are. We often mock or become most engrossed with people who are acting out what we deny in ourselves. Sometimes we deny that we feel that way. But the truth is, we wouldn't recognize it if we didn't also feel it. Sometimes we deny that we act that way. I bet we could find someone to tell us differently. I find that when I'm feeling like this is something no one else can ever understand, I am experiencing something that nearly everyone has also felt. We are all far more closely connected that we allow ourselves to see or believe. If only we could open all the windows and all the doors and allow ourselves to connect freely and know that doing so would be a safe thing to do.

Support

Today I worked on the support beams for the train tracks. I pondered on the importance of having strong support in our lives. There have been times in my life when I had very little support. I felt that no one understood what I was experiencing and I felt very alone, hopeless, and helpless. 

At other times in my life, like now, I've had strong people who understand, love, and care about me. They're willing to listen without judging, help without micromanaging, and allow me to grow at my own pace. 

When our support systems break down we become as vulnerable as this train would be if those beams began to break. Perhaps it would make it to the other side before the tracks collapsed under it. Or perhaps it wouldn't, and all would be lost. And so it is with us. If we don't have strong, supportive, stable people in our lives we can't be sure we'll make it to the other side of our problems. And if we go down, how many others will go down with us?