Well, here she is at last, safe and sound in the comfort of her chair. Maya Angelou said, “The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” I remember talking to a fellow educator several years ago. He was telling about his teenage daughter and how erratic her behavior had become. He shared how he had confronted her with it one day and told her that all of her teachers and neighbors and others always tell him what a kind, sweet, wonderful young woman she is. He asked her why she couldn't act that way at home. She suddenly cried out and said, "Dad, I have to have somewhere that I can be ugly!" I've always remembered that. Having a place that I can be ugly, or just be me whatever that looks like, is most certainly a comfort and safety.
Back To It
Here we go again with another background. This is the beginning of the fourth painting in a series on Comfort. I'm really enjoying this series and am exciting to add Safe to the others. Beginning a painting is always filled with mixed emotions. Come what may, here we go!
My Safe Place
She's not looking as content as I would have liked, but she is in her safe place. This is my concept drawing for the next painting in my series on "Comfort". Several years ago I was introduced to the idea of having a "safe place" in your imagination so that when times get emotionally hard you can envision yourself there and it can help you de-stress. A chair is not that safe place for me. That kind of safe place is so individual to each of us, that I couldn't begin to visually express it. But I do think that most people have a chair at home that is "theirs". I think for most of us, at the end of a long day, sinking down into that little piece of home can definitely bring a sense of comfort. In this space, I get to be me. In this space, I get to call the shots. In this space, I am safe.
Soft
"Soft" is the third in a series of paintings around the concept of Comfort. When I think of comfort I close my eyes and can feel softness against my skin. In deciding how to portray softness I came up with several visuals. I went with this one though, because I love the feeling of being in a warm, soft, comfortable bed. There is softness under me, the pillow is soft, and I'm covered in soft blankets. Everything is inviting and comforting. Now I think I'll go to bed...
Waves Passing Over Me
I have waves pass over me all the time. Sometimes they are waves of exhaustion. Sometimes waves of shame. I've experienced wonderful waves of joy and plenty of waves of hunger. One summer, not too many years ago, I spent a week in southern California and tried my hand at surfing. I experienced plenty of literal waves washing over me, knocking me off my feet, spinning me in circles. Sometimes when the waves hit there's nothing to do but wait for them to pass, get your bearings again, and then keep moving on. Occasionally, though the waves are warm and comfortable and you want to wrap up in them and hold them close and never let them go.
Embrace
Well, here she is, "Embrace". She's definitely different than anything I've done before. And I'm really happy with her. Her features are distinct and I believe the emotion comes through. I feel like in addition to finding comfort in the warmth and softness of the blanket, she is remembering times of comfort as well. Isn't that what a security blanket it all about? The memories? A new blanket may be warm and soft, but it doesn't bring the same comfort as the worn and raggedy one that smells like home, or Mom, or a loved one. It doesn't have the memories attached of the time you snuggled on the couch together, or when it covered you during an illness. Safety and security come from time tested trials and triumphs and the consistency of knowing that what you need and what you love will be there when you need it again.
Security Blanket
I don't remember having a security blanket as a child. But I have plenty of "security blankets" now. When I start feeling insecure I like to wrap up in a blanket (it doesn't matter which one) and curl up in my chair (it does matter which one!) and veg out on the computer. Sometimes chocolate is my security blanket. My dog Twilly can be a pretty good security blanket too. My favorite security blanket is my husband. He's the one that can offer both physical and emotional comfort. And then there is my Heavenly Father who is the source of comfort and hope. I think it's important for children to have a security blanket (or object) in order to find that comfort that familiarity brings. And in the end, we are all children on the inside.
Warm Embrace
This is a charcoal drawing I did as a concept sketch for my next painting. Still working with the idea of Comfort, this piece will be about embracing. Often an embrace is pictured with two people in a hug. But I wanted to capture the idea with just a single figure. When I think of being embraced, enwrapped, cuddled, and snuggled in comfort, I think of a warm, soft blanket. I want her to have a look of appreciation and familiarity more than a relief from fear or struggle. I'm having fun with the charcoals. I'm not spending the time on them that I do with the paints, but just playing with them again is fun!
Warmth
This is the first painting in a series I am going to do on the concept of Comfort. To me, comfort is warm. When I think of warm comfort I think of standing outside with my face to the sun. Today it's raining outside. I can hear the drops pelting the skylight in my studio and it reminds me of some of the old farm buildings when I was child. The sound makes me feel cold even though the temperature inside is very comfortable. And yet, I can look at her and see her embracing the light and warmth of the sun and suddenly I feel warm again. Many people have a "happy place" in their mind that they can go to when life gets stressful, and it can help them calm down. While this isn't really a place, it is an image that can bring a sense of warmth and comfort when life gets hard.
Squaring Her Shoulder
We square our shoulders when we are determined. Squaring one's shoulders shows a lack of fear. Perhaps she isn't squaring her shoulders for either of these reasons. Perhaps she squaring her shoulders simply to open them up to the light that is before her. Soaking in the warmth of comfort fully, she accepts the light without reservation, with faith, with hope, with acceptance and love. When someone offers us comfort, are we able to accept it this openly? Or do we resist just enough to keep ourselves emotionally safe? Do we secretly fear the very offer of comfort we so desperately seek?
Warmth... Charcoal Drawing
I'm still pondering the concept of comfort. What is it that provides comfort? How does comfort feel? For me, comfort is warm. After a long winter I long for a sunny day when I can stand with my face to the sun and feel the warmth on my face. On a stressful day I can face the sun and feel the calm seep into me with each ray of sunshine. The comforting embrace of my grandmother felt as warm and penetrating as the heat of the sun. Let the sunshine in!